![]() New to Ape Escape 3 is a range of transformations - wholesome symbols of national strength like a knight in shining armour, a cowboy and a ninja - which you activate by building up a "morph meter", hitting R1/R2 and selecting from a menu. Level by level, mother introduces another "gotcha gadget" to your it's-not-an-arsenal-oh-no, until you're kitted out with a radar monkey detector that lets you spy on nearby monkeys, a hoop that lets you chase them down, a handheld helicopter for bridging gaps, and items like catapults and a remote control car for stunning them from a distance. The most basic of these are a sort of electric baton and a butterfly-net - stun the monkeys with the baton and you can easily capture them in the net. You move around with the left stick and use whatever "gadget" - a euphemism for "weapon of The Movement" - you have selected by waggling the right stick towards your enemy. Are you telling me that's not hate in his eyes? In order to stop Specter, the player takes on the role of one of two kids, led by their smiling, apron-clad, alarmingly techno-savvy guardian, who sends them off to sabotage a series of nearly 30 television and film sets, where monkeys are working to fill out Specter's schedule, by "capturing" them in nets as they run away screaming. Oh yes, we may nod knowingly at one another, shoeing our DVD box-sets under the sofa and pretending we don't have the clock set for Get My Big Celebrity Apprentice Out Of Her New Kitchen Tits. Specter's shows are designed to transform the population into a semi-conscious mass of lethargy dependent on television in order to overwhelm and dominate humanity, the game says. "Evil" monkey Specter has been a bit naughty in the past. "What are you talking about you loony it's a game about catching monkeys in nets." Ape Escape 3: saccharine platform banality, or the thinly veiled propaganda of media-savvy anarchists with genocidal ambition? ![]()
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